Barack Obama Tweets Mom

Originally posted at American Thinker. blog

In an effort to raise campaign cash for his reelection, President Barack Obama recently offered himself up as first prize in raffle called “Dinner with Barack.” Then, for a $5 donation, dog-loving supporters were given the opportunity to help fill the President’s campaign coffers by tossing a virtual three-year anniversary bone to First Pooch Bo. One thing’s for sure — when it comes to making the most of dogs and dinners, Obama for America certainly knows how to shake the fundraising money tree.

Now, with Mother’s Day comes another unique opportunity for Americans who support Barack Obama to donate to his reelection campaign.  When and if they do decide to chip in, every contributor who has a mother will be automatically registered to “win for … mom or a special mother in [their] life,” a gift she’s always dreamed of. And no, it’s not a  Ron Popiel Pasta Maker; it’s not even an edible fruit arrangement in a watering can.

This year, many Barack Obama supporters will be gathering up the money that would otherwise be going toward a Mother’s Day gift, splitting it into five separate piles and, rather than go shopping for a present, will choose to donate the money to Obama 2012.

A word of warning: Barack Obama recently came out on behalf of gay marriage, so if you’re Heather and you happen to have two mommies, then you’ll probably have to enter the contest five times for each mother, which could end up being very pricey.

Either way, for five separate donations the Obama campaign will put Mom’s name in the running to win a “shout-out from President Obama.” Seven moms will get presidential recognition, and more likely than not, millions of other moms will get nothing at all because the money for their gifts will be in the President’s reelection war chest. But not to worry – Mom will understand, because as always, she knows it’s the thought that counts.

But wait! Before rushing to the mybarackobama.org grassroots fundraising page and slapping down money that would be better spent on designer gardening gloves, it’s important to know that the Obama “shout-out” is not an Obama “shout-out” in the literal sense.

The “shout out” being advertised is a Twitter tweet that works this way: “If your name is drawn, the President will send your mom a special Mother’s Day tweet from @BarackObama.”  According to the website, helping raise money for a politician who loves to be honored by huge crowds may result in Obama honoring your mother in “front of a pretty wide audience.”

Being tweeted by the man promising free contraceptives and the chance to be “honored” by 15 million total strangers certainly sounds like something that would excite Mom on her special day a whole lot more than buttermilk pancakes at IHOP.

Yeah, but what if Mom’s not on Twitter?  What if a mother doesn’t tweet because she spends most of her time doing mom stuff?  How will she ever know she got a shout-out from the President of the United States?

Donors should not despair; if a winning mom doesn’t have a Twitter account, she’ll still be getting a personal note from the tweeting Twit-in-Chief, who will thank her in writing for “doing all the hard work that goes into being a mother.”

Either way, if you do win, the grassroots fundraising deal works like this: Obama will either tweet yo’ mama or write yo’ mama, a woman who has obviously exercised her right to choose to be a mama.  For the President’s patrons who lose, it’s unlikely he’ll feel an ounce of guilt for taking the money that should have bought moms across America a gift. As for Mom, well, she’ll just have to make do with a measly card and that handmade potholder you made for her in kindergarten.

In the end, after Obama is done tweeting mom, Shout-Out for Dollars Day will come and go, but one thing’s for sure – between now and Election Day, with Memorial Day, Father’s Day, the 4^th of July, Labor Day, Columbus Day, and Halloween still to come, the possibilities for Barack Obama to come up with carnival-style fundraising ideas are endless.