Behold the Lowlights of Michelle Obama’s Trump-Bashing Tour

Judging from their vocal criticism of President Trump, it’s clear that neither Mr. nor Mrs. Obama shares G.W. Bush’s viewpoint that it’s terrible for the country and the presidency to undermine a current president.

Barack does it by praising anything and anyone who opposes the president’s policies and, by doing so, manages to disparage the man who took his place.  Michelle, on the other hand, is much less diplomatic.  Instead of using discretion, Mrs. Obama vomits out anti-Trump venom wherever she goes.

Michelle’s Trump-Bashing Tour started right after the 2016 election, when Mrs. Hope and Change told Oprah Winfrey that because Trump was elected, “now we’re feeling what not having hope feels like.”

In May of 2017, Mrs. Obama spoke out against Trump when he dared loosen the stringent dietary restrictions connected to her unpopular school lunch program.  Months later, at an Inbound marketing conference in Boston, Michelle rebuked a segment of the sisterhood when she declared, “Any woman who voted against Hillary Clinton voted against their [sic] own voice.”

The following month, at a Pennsylvania Conference for Women, Mrs. Obama used a hand motion to imply that Trump lowered the bar concerning women and minorities.  Then, forgetting that she did the same thing to Laura Bush in 2009, Michelle mocked First Lady Melania Trump for handing her a boxed gift on the steps of the White House on Inauguration Day 2017.

Simply put, Michelle Obama switched focus from dancing with The Tonight Show‘s host, Jimmy Fallon, to stirring up hatred towards Trump.  Instead of organic gardening, the former president’s outspoken wife now advocates for minorities and women by belittling a male president.

Let’s not forget that before being elected, both Mr. and Mrs. Obama believed they were the “ones we’ve been waiting for.”  Now, that Obama’s Tenure of Terror is over, the twosome’s newest goal is to find a way to reproduce thousands, if not millions, of little Michelle and Barack facsimiles to dispatch across the planet in hopes of furthering the gospel of discord.

In the meantime, the former first lady furthers that cause by sharing Trump putdowns at professional development gatherings for women.

Recently, at the Simmons Leadership Conference in Boston, the former first lady told the audience that the Obama presidency “was like having the ‘good parent’ at home.  The responsible parent, the one who told you to eat your carrots and go to bed on time.”  Ratcheting up the hyperbole, Michelle then pointed out, “And now we have the other parent.  We thought it’d feel fun – maybe it feels fun for now because we can eat candy all day and stay up late and not follow the rules.”

Judging from her comments about carrots and bedtime, Michelle must still be of the opinion that without Obama diktats concerning vegetable portions and salt quotas, sleep schedules, and general guidelines for survival, with “the other parent” in charge, Americans (children that we are) have devolved into hog-wild, candy-eating, sleep-deprived rule-breakers.

In addition to criticizing Trump for allowing grownups to make decisions about what they eat, how long they sleep, and how they exercise freedom, in Boston, Michelle also expressed disappointment about that famous politician in a pantsuit who keeps babbling to covens of women about why she lost.

Michelle besmirched Trump by stating that Clinton was “the best-qualified candidate” but also explained that “[Hillary] wasn’t perfect, but she was way more perfect than many of the alternatives.”  Put another way, Michelle “Feels Fun” Obama considers “wasn’t perfect … way more perfect.”

Michelle also told the ladies that in addition to Putin, Comey, misogynists, Stepford Wives, WikiLeaks, cable news, and voter suppression, Trump defeated incoherent loser Hillary because of low voter turnout.  After all, without the New Black Panthers and ACORN to inspire the electorate in 2016, voters were unwilling to go out and elect a woman who can’t walk up or down stairs without falling.

Choosing not to expand upon the other possible reasons Hillary couldn’t “get out the vote,” Michelle also reminded “wes” in the audience that “[w]e’ve got to be willing, when we do find qualified people, to vote for them.  And we didn’t do that in this election.”

Then, demonstrating a level of hubris surpassed only by Barack, Michelle soothed the “disheartened” in the room with thoughts concerning herself and BFF Oprah:

So I think people should be less … disheartened that me and Oprah don’t want to run, and more disheartened by the fact that Hillary Clinton, probably the most qualified person to ever seek the office of the presidency, lost.  She lost.

If Michelle Obama thinks that in the history of this nation, Hillary Clinton was the “most qualified person to ever seek the office of the presidency” then the former FLOTUS clearly believes that high levels of corruption are what qualifies a person to run for president.  Either that or Michelle has finally conceded that Barack wasn’t the most qualified person to seek the office of the presidency.

Whatever her intent, after showering Hillary’s orthopedic sandals with accolades, Michelle announced, yet again, that she, Michelle, isn’t running for president and explained her decision in the following way:

And you can’t just say, “You’re a woman.  Run.”  And we can’t look for women like that.  We can’t just say “let’s find the women we like and ask them [sic] to do it,” because there are a million women who are inclined and who do have the passion for politics.

Then Michelle praised herself and unwittingly demeaned Barack by saying:

Just because I gave a good speech, and I’m smart and intelligent doesn’t mean I should be the next president.  That’s been our problem.  We’re very shortsighted about how we think about selecting the commander in chief.

And so, based on those and other insightful ruminations, as of today, Mrs. Obama isn’t running for president – not because the former first lady believes she’d lose if she were to run, but because, at this juncture, “good parent” Michelle Obama prefers stroking her ego on a nationwide Trump-Bashing