“Let’s Move” the Obama’s Back to Chicago

It was just last year the clarion call went out that “Rightwing extremists will attempt to recruit and radicalize returning veterans in order to exploit their skills and knowledge derived from military training and combat.” Now, military family supporter Michelle Obama claims chubby kids join the ranks of ex-military personnel and pro-life advocates by presenting a menace to national security.

Addressing the problem, the First Lady launched a campaign to end childhood obesity an “epidemic” Michelle believes is “costly” and threatens military readiness. Attending Michelle’s White House memorandum-signing ceremony was the Commander-in-Chief, as well as many of President Obama’s generously proportioned Cabinet members–national security proponents all.

Speaking on behalf of the ‘Let’s Move’ campaign the First Lady said, “This epidemic impacts the nation’s security as obesity is now one of the most common disqualifiers for military service.” Does Michelle mean the same military service that threatens national security?

Joining together with Barack, who called for the repeal of the Don’t Ask Don’t Tell policy, the Obama’s work in tandem ensuring the military well staffed with individuals who, if not for closets, fresh fruits and spring water, would normally be disqualified from service.

Some of the initiatives Michelle proposed are ending “food deserts” [not to be confused with desserts] assigning $400 million a year to a “Healthy Food Financing Initiative.” The monies slated to bring  “grocery stores to low-income neighborhoods” and “help places like convenience stores carry healthier food options.”  If Shelley O has her way Big Gulps and truck stopper sandwiches will henceforth be banned from 7-11©.

Emphasizing the need for physical exercise, famous hula hooper Michelle expressed sympathy for adipose afflicted children “who spend too much time watching TV or playing video games because their neighborhoods are unsafe for playing outside.”

Coincidentally, Michelle’s concern for safe outdoor play pairs perfectly with the Edward M. Kennedy Serve America Act (HR 1388), whose goal is to “reauthorize and reform national service laws.”  In preparation for military service, Michelle can woo willowy kids to volunteer for a civilian military to police low-income neighborhoods ensuring jump ropers and rollerblade enthusiasts safe outdoor activities.

Addressing parental victimhood with maternal sympathy, Michelle explained why parents choose Captain Crunch over Wheaties. “So many parents desperately want to do the right thing, but feel like the deck is stacked against them.”  Michelle contends, “They know their kids health is their responsibility but they feel like it’s out of their control.  They are bombarded by contradictory information at every turn, and they don’t know who to believe.”   If that’s true additional funding for literacy programs should be top priority not banning Twinkies from bodegas.

Michelle is well versed in victimhood philosophy asserting, “Our kids did not do this to themselves.”  Michelle Obama’s view of clueless victimized parents is similar to how Barack views the whole nation. Obama dictates policies demanding submission-making choices for us like rotund offspring. To Shelley and Barry kids are mere microcosms of a macro group of naive Americans.

A dictatorial First Lady’s eating edicts are strangely similar to Barack’s policy decrees. Articulating the essence of authoritarian attitude Michelle pledged, “No matter how much they beg for pizza, fries and candy, ultimately, they are not and should not, be the one’s calling the shots at dinner time.”  Sound familiar?

Thus in “Let’s Move” Obamerica Americans insisting on maintaining personal responsibility, begging for relief from authoritative edicts, young or old, fat or skinny, regardless of what they eat or don’t eat, all are sure to be viewed national threats to socialistic security.

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