The Tamale Tells All

On Cinco de Mayo, while making a joke at Michelle’s expense, unbeknownst to the President he mistakenly revealed the philosophy behind all the opulent excess he and the First Lady enjoy while the rest of America suffers.

For the common good, both Barry and Michelle justify dividing and doling out a small piece of pie to every American.  However, over at the White House, when it comes to the Obama gullet, the epicurean elitists have been know to fly in a pizza chef and scarf down unlimited amounts of deep dish and thin crust pies.

Obviously, the issue isn’t pizza, pie or otherwise, it’s about a one-sided philosophy that exempts the privileged from the strident standards they impose on everyone else. Thus, even tamales have the power to confirm what America has surmised all along.

Take for example the recent White House/East Room celebration of Cinco de Mayo, hosted by the President and the effervescent Michelle.  Guests included: “Hispanic politicians, Hispanic Americans serving in the Obama administration, and members of a commission on exploring the creating of a new national museum of the American Latino were among those in attendance.”

The only Mexican-American missing from the crowd was border security expert/Desperate Housewife Eva Longoria who just last week, in an effort to “reframe the immigration argument,” was called upon to “brainstorm” with Obama.

Amidst green and red revelry, a Margarita bar and “corn and plantain chips served with Guacamole, Salsa and Pico de Gallo Tuna,” the President gave a warm “Welcome to Cinco de Mayo at the White House.” Then, omitting the rolling Rs, Obama attempted to speak Spanish and vowed he “wouldn’t speak too long” – an enviable promise that would be warmly welcomed by those not in attendance at the celebration.

Nevertheless, sticking to his script, Obama called Cinco de Mayo “a chance to commemorate the shared heritage between Mexicans and Americans. It’s a day for remembering that America is a richer, stronger, more vibrant place thanks to the contributions of Mexican Americans to the life of this nation.”

However, when Obama deviated from scripted remarks and shared a little “tidbit about the first lady,” that was when tamales confirmed his ongoing double standards.

Playing to a full house and lost without Jon Stewart writing the jokes, Obama attempted to make a funny when he said, “I asked Michelle the other day, I said, ‘What’s your favorite food’ … She said, ‘Ah, Mexican food.’” Then Obama issued a comedic warning: “You do not want to be between Michelle and a tamale.”

According to the President’s bad joke, a woman who’s making a career of policing the plates of the whole nation does not let anything or anyone come between her and a tamale hankering.

Obama caught himself and attempted a complimentary backpedal, saying “It’s true. It’s true. But she’s moving, though, so she can afford to have as many tamales as she wants,” but it was too late. Michelle’s determination to gain access to a less-than-healthy favorite food was laid bare and in the process, the liberal tendency toward hypocrisy exhibited by both of the Obamas was further exposed.

Abiding within Barack’s tamale “tidbit” lays the crux of what irritates a large portion of those presently suffering from policy ramifications inflicted by a President and his spouse who dictate much, yet suffer nothing.

Someone in the crowd should have raised their hand and, in Spanish of course, asked in a perplexed yet astonished tone, “You mean while we all split one stale taco Michelle gets to decide for herself the quantity and content of what she eats?”

And so it goes – once again “Let’s Move”-Michelle circled another buffet table filling her plate with Grilled Lamb Chops Sopes and Mushroom, Cheese, Roasted Peppers, moving in time to Tito Puente’s “Oye Como Va,” which means “Hey, how’s it going?”  Meanwhile back in the real world, for Americans stuck with a small sliver of a carved up pie, thanks to Barack Obama, it really isn’t going so well.

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