Sidwell Friends School’s ‘Mistake’-Proof Prom Prank

Originally posted at American Thinker. blog

Recently, the Washingtonian reported that a pre-prom “prank” email appeared to have been sent from school administrators of Sidwell Friends School, the private $35K-per-year Washington DC institution that both Sasha and Malia Obama attend.  The email was addressed to “Parents of the Sidwell Friends School Community” and advised parents of Upper School students that “their children would receive ‘a voucher that may be redeemed for their choice of contraception’ at this year’s school prom.”

The striking thing about the email, besides being flawlessly written and the sender having access to the school’s email address book, was that on the surface it appeared to be concerned with children’s safety. But then it veered off into a discussion about free contraception; the inevitably of teen sex; and the futility of abstinence-only programs, all from a decidedly liberal perspective.

Therefore, rather than being shocked, it’s possible that open-minded DC parents might think that multi-colored condom corsages and boutonnières would be a charming accessory for prom night. After all, the email did say that the contraceptives would “be provided free of charge.”

It is unknown where the correspondence originated or whether Mr. and Mrs. Obama received a copy in their inbox, but it was respectfully signed “In peace, The Sidwell Friends Upper School Administration.” Soon after the initial message arrived, an allegedly authentic follow-up email informed parents that the first one was “a prank and its contents … fiction.”

Still, from a liberal point of view, the first missive did include some valuable information. For instance, according to the email, Sidwell Friends “School dances, sporting events, and arts productions have increasingly been catalysts of sexual behavior,” which is a trend that the fictional school administrator with the perfect grammar calls “imprudent for teenage students of a respectable, Quaker institution.” If this is true, wouldn’t it stand to reason that these un-Quaker-like extra-curricular activities at Sasha and Malia’s school call for the same positive contraceptive advice the President offered to Catholic Georgetown University?

Despite the tawdry particulars, the message did include reassurance that the tony school would be promptly addressing recess frolicking by implementing, among other things, “[a] two-point penalty for visiting the parking garage during school hours,” as well as “heightened surveillance and regular patrols by … security personnel,” both of which would surely make Homeland Security Secretary Janet ‘Frisk-the-Kiddies’ Napolitano proud.

The email also said that, as an added precaution, the school plans to emulate public school safe-sex practices by providing “free condoms in all restrooms and distribution of condoms at school dances, sporting events, theatre productions, and other school-sponsored activities.” Even “Let’s Move” Mom Michelle Obama should agree that, at least in theory, vigorous condom-related activity trumps eating cupcakes at after-school bake sales.

Also touched upon was the clearly liberal view that it’s “futile to take an outdated ‘abstinence-only’ approach in today’s modern world.”  Which is precisely why some liberals believe, prank email or not, free contraceptives should be provided to all schoolchildren, including kindergarteners who are bored with finger painting.

Interestingly, the email mentioned a survey conducted by the possibly-fictitious Faculty Committee on Student Life in which students evaluated their “comfort” with a “sexually explicit form of dancing” called “grinding” and other sexual activities like “hooking up,” both of which supposedly occur at Sidwell Friends dances.

All the references to school dances and sexually charged school-sponsored activities probably reminded Barack Obama of his fatherly prayer: “Lord, give me patience as I watch Malia go to her first dance, where there will be boys. Lord, let her skirt get longer as she travels to that place.”

Or the time at the Milwaukee’s Master Lock factory, when he said “As I was looking at some of the really industrial-size locks…as I am a father of two girls who are soon going to be in high school and that it might come in handy to have these super locks. For now, I’m just counting on the fact that when they go to school there are men with guns with them.”

Isn’t exercising the hormonal right to choose an option even presidents should teach their young daughters about? Maybe, when it comes to Sasha and Malia, Mr. Obama should pay heed to the email’s advice, which is that by “removing the stigma from sexual activity,” students approach the subject “not with an attitude of ostentatious rebellion but with the gravity and privacy that this personal decision requires.”

As the email suggested, Sidwell parents should “Let [their] children know that the home is the safest place to experiment and develop sexually.” However, while that recommendation may be fitting for other students, if Bill Clinton happens to be hanging around the White House maybe the Obamas should ignore that piece of advice.

Another suggestion was that parents should “take this opportunity to create a healthy environment for an open discussion about safe sex, perhaps by taking advantage of the extensive Planned Parenthood resources around the DC Metropolitan area.” Now that’s an outstanding idea! For an Obama family outing, Barack and Michelle could take the first daughters on a historic Margaret Sanger field trip to downtown Washington DC, where the girls could take a crash course on eugenics and taxpayer-funded abortion.

In the end, regardless of who wrote the email, and given President Obama’s overriding concern for women of all ages having access to free contraceptives, he could step forward and “encourage and support” — a la Sandra Fluke — the valuable content of the message.  Surely, the President could wring out political points with women by offering public thanks to the undisclosed writer for bravely addressing the realities of the contraceptive concerns of his daughters’ schoolmates.

But above all, by expressing how great it would be to have Sidwell school administrators adopt the creative prom night voucher idea, Barack Obama could make the most of what originated as a school prank by reminding everyone that if teenage revelers do happen to “make a mistake” at an after-party, they shouldn’t be “punished with a baby.”


  1. Just desire to say your article is as amazing. The clearness in your post is just excellent and
    i can assume you are an expert on this subject. Fine with your permission allow me to grab your RSS feed
    to keep up to date with forthcoming post. Thanks a million and please continue the enjoyable work.

  2. Hmm it looks like your blog ate my first comment (it was extremely long) so I guess I’ll just
    sum it up what I wrote and say, I’m thoroughly enjoying your blog.
    I too am an aspiring blog blogger but I’m still new to the
    whole thing. Do you have any recommendations for beginner blog writers?
    I’d certainly appreciate it.

  3. Yesterday, while I was at work, my sister stole my iPad and tested to see
    if it can survive a 30 foot drop, just so she can be a youtube sensation. My apple ipad is now broken and she has 83 views.
    I know this is entirely off topic but I had to share it with someone!

  4. Забота о вашем доме – это забота о удобстве. Утепление фасадов – это не только стильный внешний вид, но и обеспечение сохранения тепла в вашем уединенном уголке. Мы, наша команда профессионалов, предлагаем вам преобразить ваше жилище в прекрасное место обитания.
    Наши творческие решения – это не просто утепление, это искусство с каждым слоем. Мы предпочитаем гармонии между визуальным восприятием и практической целесообразностью, чтобы ваше жилище превратилось не только пригодным для жизни, но и изысканным.
    И самое существенное – доступные тарифы! Мы уверены, что высококачественные услуги не должны быть дорогим удовольствием. [url=]Стоимость утепления дома снаружи цена[/url] начинается всего от 1250 рублей за кв. метр.
    Инновационные технологии и материалы высокого стандарта позволяют нам создавать термомодернизацию, которая гарантирует долгий срок службы и надежность. Забвение о холодных стенах и избежание лишних расходов на отопление – наше утепление станет вашим надежным барьером от холода.
    Подробнее на [url=][/url]
    Не откладывайте на потом заботу о счастье в вашем уголке. Обращайтесь к экспертам, и ваш уголок станет настоящим творческим шедевром, которое дарит тепло и радость. Вместе мы создадим пространство, в котором вам будет по-настоящему удобно!

  5. I’m really enjoying the design and layout of your website.
    It’s a very easy on the eyes which makes it much more pleasant for
    me to come here and visit more often. Did you hire out a developer to create your theme?
    Fantastic work!

  6. The other day, while I was at work, my sister stole my iphone and tested to see if it
    can survive a 25 foot drop, just so she can be a youtube sensation. My iPad
    is now destroyed and she has 83 views. I know this is totally off topic
    but I had to share it with someone!

  7. I’ve been exploring for a little for any high quality articles or blog posts in this sort of space .
    Exploring in Yahoo I ultimately stumbled upon this web site.
    Studying this information So i am glad to show that I have an incredibly good uncanny
    feeling I came upon exactly what I needed. I such a lot indisputably will make certain to don?t disregard this web site and give
    it a look regularly.

  8. Hi there! This article could not be written any better!
    Going through this post reminds me of my previous roommate!
    He constantly kept talking about this. I will forward this post to him.
    Pretty sure he’ll have a great read. I appreciate you for sharing!

  9. Magnificent beat ! I wish to apprentice at the same time as you amend your site, how could i subscribe for a blog website?

    The account helped me a appropriate deal. I have been tiny bit familiar of this
    your broadcast provided vibrant clear idea

  10. Unquestionably believe that which you stated. Your favorite
    reason seemed to be on the web the easiest thing to be aware of.
    I say to you, I definitely get annoyed while people consider worries that they just don’t know about.

    You managed to hit the nail upon the top and also
    defined out the whole thing without having side effect , people could take a signal.
    Will probably be back to get more. Thanks

  11. Уважаемые Партнеры!
    Предлагаем вам свежее тренд в мире дизайна домашней обстановки – шторы плиссе. Если вы аспирируете к высшему качеству в каждой аспекте вашего домашнего, то эти гардины будут замечательным подходом для вас.
    Что делает шторы плиссе настолько живыми неповторимыми? Они объединяют в себе в себе изящество, утилитарность и эффективность. Благодаря характерной литере, технологичным субстанциям, шторы плиссе идеально гармонируют с для какова угодно комнатки, будь то хата, спальная комната, плитки или должностное пространство.
    Закажите [url=]шторы плиссе на пластиковые окна[/url] – оттворите уют и красочность в вашем доме!
    Чем подкупают шторы плиссе для вас? Во-первых, их поразительный бренд, который добавляет очарование и грацию вашему жилищу. Вы можете подобрать из разнообразных структур, расцветок и стилей, чтобы выделить уникальность вашего дома.
    Кроме того, шторы плиссе предлагают многочисленный круг функциональных возможностей. Они могут управлять уровень света в интерьере, защищать от солнечного света, предоставлять приватность и создавать уютную среду в вашем доме.
    Мы сайт: [url=][/url]
    Мы сами поддержим вам выбрать шторы плиссе, какие прекрасно гармонизируются с для вашего оформления!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Back to Top