Onyango Obama defied a deportation order way back when actress/singer/up-and-coming fashion designer Amanda Bynes was only six-years-old. Yet, who would have thought that a former Nickelodeon star and renowned thespian from blockbuster movies like “What a Girl Wants” and the John Travolta cross-dressing smash hit “Hairspray” would have so much in common with Barack Obama’s illegal Kenyan uncle?
Last year, on the East Coast, after indulging in some “chicken and tunes” at Framingham, Massachusetts’ Chicken Bone Saloon, Omar Obama nearly hit a police cruiser when he blew a stop sign attempting to make a left turn. Then, this year “All I Wanna Do” Mandy Bynes was just “having some fun” when, reportedly under the influence of alcohol or drugs, she sideswiped a police cruiser while making a right turn onto Santa Monica Boulevard in West Hollywood, California.
At the time of Uncle Omar’s adventure, the officer’s report said that when asked “how much he had to drink,” initially Uncle Omar said “nothing.” Leaning in, the arresting officer informed the chatty Mr. Obama that despite his protests, he didn’t quite pass the smell test because “there was strong odor of alcohol on him,” at which point Omar admitted to having one beer. Not to be outdone, although charged with a misdemeanor, “She’s the Man” star Amanda Bynes maintains that she does not drink at all.
Unlike the obliging Uncle Omar, who was anxious to get started on the nine-step sobriety test, which he subsequently failed, Amanda is accused of being very uncooperative during her arrest. Allegedly, after being pulled over, the 26-year old actress refused “a police officer’s request to complete a chemical test to determine what substances were in her system.”
Nonetheless, breathalyzer or no breathalyzer, both Omar and Amanda were charged with driving under the influence of alcohol or drugs. Omar is presently fighting his DUI charge and being held on an ICE warrant, and Amanda is contesting a charge of a DUI hit-and-run.
Appearing in court, Onyango’s lawyer told a judge that he planned to “file a motion to suppress the traffic stop that led to his client’s arrest” because Omar, although driving drunk and living in the US illegally, “was not committing any motor vehicle violations.” Meanwhile Bynes’ attorney came to court and entered a not guilty plea on his client’s behalf, even though she nearly flattened a Los Angeles County sheriff’s cruiser with her black Range Rover.
These similarities show that, although worlds apart, both Omar and Amanda have been larruped about by the system for the same kinds of spirited vehicular shenanigans. However, one aspect of their stories brings the unlikely pair even closer, and it has to do with whom the consider one of their most valued friends.
According to Framingham P.D.’s Pubic Information Officer, Lieutenant Delaney, when Uncle Omar was being booked at the police station and was asked if he wanted to make a telephone call to arrange bail, with startling faith in family dependability the first words that emerged from his beer-soaked lips were “I think I will call the White House.”
Add to that Hollywood’s affinity for a man who is always there for the downtrodden misunderstood and always on the lookout for qualified border security experts, its understandable that Amanda Bynes, much like Uncle Omar, didn’t think twice about reaching out to Barack Obama.
After being formally charged with driving under the influence, Ms.Bynes reached out to her pal, the President of the United States, and felt perfectly at ease tweeting “Hey @Barack Obama I don’t drink. Please fire the cop who arrested me. I also don’t hit and run. Theend.(sic)”
There is a lesson to be learned here that extends beyond the trials and tribulations of Uncle Omar and Amanda Bynes – the President of the United States has managed to convince family members and femme fatales alike that if you’re ever charged with a DUI, in need of bail, or feel a police officer should be fired, he’s the guy to call.