Glazed Donut Recklessness

real-300x300Originally posted at The Blacksphere

On June 7th, which is “National Donut Day,” the “Glazed Donut Breakfast Sandwich,” which consists of two rubbery fried eggs, a piece of over processed cheese, and a couple of pieces of overcooked bacon tucked between two halves of a sticky, gooey glazed doughnut, is coming to Dunkin’ Donuts shops all over New York City.

The salty/sweet/porky/sunny side up-wich gives new meaning to “America Runs on Dunkin’” because, considering the odd mix of fixins, a more appropriate jingle might be America Gets the Runs on Dunkin’.

Couple Joe Biden’s 2006 remark to an Indian-American man that “You cannot go to a 7-11 or a Dunkin’ Donuts unless you have a slight Indian accent…. I’m not joking,” together with the fact that 20-40% of Indian people consider themselves vegetarian, and it’s shocking that Dunkin’ Donuts has decided to attempt to increase profits by mimicking Food Network southern cooking queen Paula Deen’s “Lady’s Brunch Sandwich.”

The new breakfast sandwich is reminiscent of Paula’s famous Krispy Kreme donut, hamburger, bacon and fried egg sandwich that she whipped up to feed her lady friends at brunch meetins’.  Of late, because of giving herself Type II diabetes, y’all, Paula has had to pass on the “Lady’s Brunch Sandwich” or else she would have passed on herself an’ all.

Stan Frankenthaler, executive chef and vice president of product innovation at Dunkin’ Donuts, claims that D & D is open to offering as much variety as possible.  Therefore, if customers want their eggs on a Jelly or Blueberry Cake Donut, Frankenthaler said, “I’m sure the store will do that for you.” For those who prefer a creamier edition, a Bavarian Cream Donut with egg and bacon would probably be a drippy hit.

There is a problem, because despite the anticipatory buzz, when Mama Obama catches wind of the plan she won’t be pleased.  So before the sandwich goes national and after sampling a few herself, Michelle (a personal fan of fried fat cakes) will likely put her head together with Nanny Bloomberg.

The duo will have to come up with a strategy to thwart the franchise’s plan to offer the heart-clogger to Americans who, at least in NYC, for their own good, are still prohibited from washing down the Breakfast of Stent Candidates with 32-ounce soft drinks.

Nonetheless, if the politically incorrect breakfast sandwich provides the sugar/fat rush Dunkin’ Donuts fans are craving, it will be interesting to see multilingual Mayor Michael El Bloombito attempt to shut the sandwich down.

And more fun as the Mayor, in Hindi, explains to confused franchise owners why they will be hauled off to donut jail if they insist on selling the unhealthy “Glazed Donut Breakfast Sandwich.”

224 Comments

  1. Heey just wanted to give you a quick heads up and let you know a few օf the images ɑren’t loading
    ρroperly. I’m not sure why but I think itѕ a linking issue.
    I’ve tried it in two dіfferent web browserfs and both show the samе reѕults.

  2. Ꮲlease leet me know if you’re looking for a article author forr youjr weblog.
    Yоu have some really good articles and I feel I would be a good asset.
    If you ever want to take some oof the load off,
    Ӏ’dⅼove to write ѕome articles fοr your bllg in exchange for a link
    back to mine. Please shoot mee an e-mail if interested. Cheers!

  3. I am really loving the theme/design of your weblog.

    Do you ever run into any browser compatibility problems?
    A few of my blog visitors have complained about my site not working correctly in Explorer
    but looks great in Safari. Do you have any solutions to help fix this issue?

  4. Hey I am so delighted I found your web site, I really found you by mistake, while I was browsing on Bing
    for something else, Anyways I am here now and would just like to
    say thanks for a remarkable post and a all round interesting blog (I also love the theme/design), I don’t have time to look over it all at the minute but I have bookmarked
    it and also added your RSS feeds, so when I have time I will be back to read a lot more, Please do keep up the awesome work.

  5. Hi there! This post couldn’t be written much better!
    Reading through this post reminds me of my previous roommate!
    He always kept talking about this. I most certainly will send
    this information to him. Fairly certain he will have a
    great read. I appreciate you for sharing!

  6. Howdy just wanted to give you a quick heads up.
    The text in your content seem to be running off the screen in Firefox.
    I’m not sure if this is a formatting issue or something to
    do with web browser compatibility but I figured I’d post
    to let you know. The style and design look great though!
    Hope you get the issue fixed soon. Cheers

  7. Appreciating the time and energy you put into your blog and in depth information you provide.
    It’s awesome to come across a blog every once in a while that isn’t the same outdated rehashed material.
    Excellent read! I’ve saved your site and I’m adding your RSS feeds to my Google account.

  8. Hello would you mind letting me know which web
    host you’re working with? I’ve loaded your blog in 3 different web browsers and I must say this blog loads a lot quicker then most.
    Can you suggest a good hosting provider at a reasonable price?
    Thanks, I appreciate it!

  9. Very good blog! Do you have any hints for aspiring writers?
    I’m hoping to start my own blog soon but I’m
    a little lost on everything. Would you recommend starting with a
    free platform like WordPress or go for a paid
    option? There are so many choices out there that I’m totally confused ..

    Any tips? Thanks!

  10. What i don’t understood is in fact how you’re no longer really much
    more neatly-liked than you may be now. You’re so intelligent.
    You already know thus considerably in the case of this topic,
    produced me for my part consider it from numerous numerous angles.

    Its like women and men are not fascinated unless it’s something to accomplish with Girl gaga!
    Your own stuffs nice. At all times deal with it up!

  11. Howdy, i read your blog occasionally and i own a
    similar one and i was just curious if you get a lot
    of spam remarks? If so how do you reduce it, any plugin or anything you can recommend?
    I get so much lately it’s driving me crazy so
    any help is very much appreciated.

  12. Excellent goods from you, man. I have understand your stuff previous to and you’re just
    extremely magnificent. I really like what you have acquired here, certainly like what you are saying and the way in which you say
    it. You make it entertaining and you still take care of to keep it
    wise. I can not wait to read much more from you. This
    is really a terrific website.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Back to Top