Obama Warns Millennials of Bar-Related Injuries


Originally posted at American Thinker.

Something is up!  The “young invincibles” who were largely responsible for catapulting Barack Obama into the seat of power appear to be spurning ObamaCare and its joke of a website.  A recent Harvard University Institute of Politics poll revealed that 50% of 18- to 29-year-olds disapprove of ObamaCare and believe that it will raise their health care costs. 


Compounding that problem is the fact that less than one third of uninsured young people say they plan to enroll in coverage, which means that those the president was depending upon to carry the weight of health care costs would rather spend the little money they have trying to get their Obama logo tattoo lasered off.


Good for them!  America’s youth are smarter than Obama gives them credit for.  They’ve figured out that the guy who’s ruined their chances for a lucrative career now wants them to shoulder the bulk of the costs for his health care bill with money that his economic policies have prevented them from earning.  Seems those between the ages of 18 and 29 are on to the president’s Ponzi scheme, wherein the government wrangles the young into shifting their nonexistent resources to older, sicker Americans.


A recent Gallup survey found that more than one quarter of people without health insurance would rather pay the fine. 


Is it possible that wealth redistribution just isn’t sitting well with those whom Barack Obama assumed a lifetime of free contraceptives would persuade to embrace his “share the wealth” mumbo-jumbo?  If so, what better way to prove to Barack Obama that his impression of America’s youth is off-base than for them to pay the $95 fine and then purchase the birth control he’s tried to lure them with, using the money saved by refusing to purchase ObamaCare?


Generation Y might also be turning against the president because he acts as if he believes that their initial mindless decision to vote for him has translated into blind acceptance of policies that are not at all in their best interest.


Still, by now most Americans know that Barack Obama is undaunted by opposition.  This is a man who, at least when he’s armed with his trusty Teleprompter, is always on his feet and undeterred.


Recently, while hosting a White House Youth Summit, the president was quick to offer ideas to young people about how to convince resistant Millennials to sign up for ObamaCare.


The president, employing nationalistic guilt, reminded his audience that “[the] bottom line is that I’m going to need you, the country needs you.”  No, what the country needs is for this guy to follow through on his lifelong dream of working for ESPN as soon as possible.


At the summit, Obama hyped the cost of insurance in the exchanges as “affordable,” telling attendees that most health plan premiums cost less than a cable or cell phone bill.  He also encouraged his youthful listeners to think hard about health risks by sharing stories about his own accident-prone days:


Look, I do remember what it’s like being 27 or 28, and aside from the occasional basketball injury, most of the time I kind of felt like I had nothing to worry about. Of course, that’s what most people think until they have something to worry about. But at that point, oftentimes it’s too late.


In hopes of driving home his point, rather than sports, split lips, and stitches, the president, well-acquainted with the subject, chose to discuss substance abuse dangers.  Let’s remember, Barack Obama, Sr. was an alcoholic who lost his legs and later his life in two separate drunk-driving accidents; the president’s illegal Uncle Omar manages a liquor store and, before getting a green card, was arrested for drunken driving. 


Thus, “dreams from” Obama’s father and uncle must have provided the president with creative examples on how speaking hip bar lingo could help dupe…er, I mean promote ObamaCare to the younger set.  


Calling upon youthful clichés, the president alluded to saloons, pubs, taverns, and local watering holes as prime locations to push his signature legislation.  In president Obama’s mind, apparently the place to find ignorant Millennials is at a bar, getting hammered.  Although there hasn’t been a “happy hour” in America since January of 2009, the president instructed the summit crowd, “If you are a bartender, have a happy hour.”


And because one never knows when a mixologist could have a work-related injury such as losing an eye to a flying bottle cork or choking on a Maraschino cherry, President Obama also reminded the White House Youth Summit attendees that bartenders should “[p]robably get health insurance because a lot of people don’t have it.”


As crazy as it sounds, Barry is probably on to something!  After all, thanks to him, there are highly skilled and educated Americans working as bartenders, selling beer and liquor to other down-on-their-luck Americans who consume alcoholic beverages to help deal with the dismal reality of a bleak future.  That’s why twenty-somethings do need to be made aware of the very real possibility of inebriated people falling off bar stools needing ObamaCare to cover treatment for concussions.


Yet, in the end, if cautionary tales of barroom catastrophes don’t sway Generation Y to return to the fold, Obama still has a year’s worth of Fandango tickets, 50,000 fake Twitter followers, and a CD of Beyoncé’s greatest hits to fall back on.

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