Post-Benham Brothers HGTV: Reprogramming for the Open-minded

open-mind-630x467Originally posted at The Clash Daily

The HGTV Flip it Forward series that was due to premiere in October starring Christian pro-lifers/pro-traditional marriage advocates David and Jason Benham is officially canceled. Now that the pesky renovation team have been permanently banished from Home and Garden TV there’s a vacant time slot crying out for a more inclusive series hosted by anyone other than fanatical prayer-rally mutants. Hence, in an attempt at redemptive political correctness HGTV will no doubt come up with a more tolerant makeover series.

Ironically, right around the time the prejudicial attitudes of David and Jason Benham were made public, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) released a report stating that cases of men with syphilis have reached the highest level since 1995. That means that despite all the Benham-style “anti-gay extremist” homophobia and religious fanaticism, there has still been a steady rise of syphilis in the very community that Right Wing Watch endorsed by pressuring HGTV to terminate Flip it Forward.

The CDC “Sexually Transmitted Disease Surveillance 2012” report claimed “STDs are hidden epidemics of enormous health and economic consequence in the United States.” Since 2005, the rate of gay and bisexual men infected with syphilis has doubled. In 2012, when those intolerant preacher’s sons were busy signing petitions in favor of marriage between one man and one woman, the number of contagious genital sores that had dropped to 6,000 after the dawn of the antibiotic age climbed to almost 17,000.

Besides making sufferers more susceptible to HIV, untreated syphilis can cause blindness or stroke in later stages. Not only that, but there seems to be a racial component as to who ends up with bacterial infection. The CDC reported that in 2012 “Black youth aged 15 to 19 were 16 times as likely to contract syphilis as their white counterparts.”
Although troubling, there is an upside. The news from the CDC comes at an opportune time to provide HGTV, the 7th most-watched cable network, the opportunity to prove via its programming choices that it disapproves of the evangelical Benham twins’ Scripture-based philosophy.

For example, why not an HGTV show that caters to the growing population of people suffering from syphilis called “Flip that Sanitarium?” They could cast an upbeat gay black man suffering from Treponema palladum bacteria-induced vision impairment and paralysis. The star could stake out drab hospital rooms and then create fresh, cheery infirmary décor for patients enduring the misery of late-stage syphilis.

As of 2008, “more than a third of the U.S. population – 110 million people – were infected with a sexually transmitted disease (STD).” So if the syphilis idea is too extreme, not to worry, because according to the CDC there’s a huge ratings bonanza just begging to be tapped.

It is estimated that nearly 20 million new STD cases are contracted annually. In 2012 alone, the CDC cited 1,422,976 new cases of Chlamydia trachomatis. Judging from those stats, there’s millions of Americans who would probably feel very comfortable with an edgy HGTV fixer-upper show hosted by an unapologetic, sexually-liberated host grappling with a stubborn STD.

Forget house flippers who are faithful to God, spouse, and family. What’s stopping HGTV from casting a host who caters to the promiscuous predilection of a third of the U.S. population – a host whose hidden agenda differs markedly from those two squeaky-clean, Jesus-freak twins, neither of whom has ever had to deal with an all-inclusive, undiscriminating STD?

Think of it! If sexually transmitted diseases cost the nation nearly $16 billion in healthcare costs a year, people with STDs would generate outstanding profits for programs starring super-tolerant hosts who openly reject God, mock chastity, and defy the sanctity of life! Eager sponsors would be lining up to be part of a forward-thinking “Flip this Fornicator” show, where viewers can personally identify with touching renovation stories featuring those struggling with gonorrhea, HIV, syphilis, human papillomavirus (HPV), and genital herpes.

The younger set could also be a loyal audience for HGTV. Even though the up-and-coming generation comprises only 25% of the sexually active population, according to the CDC the 15 to 24 age group makes up 50% of all newly-diagnosed venereal infections. Remarkably, that statistic stands despite the Herculean efforts of government-run public schools over the last 20 years to provide condoms, embrace Planned Parenthood, and sexually desensitize kids as young as 14 by exposing them to pornographic “educational” material.

That’s why it’s no surprise that women between the ages of 15 and 24 account for 52% of all those abortions the shamelessly prolific Benham brothers oppose. With numbers like that, the 15 to 24 female demographic bodes well for an upbeat “Flip that Abortion Clinic” show, where a team of women dissatisfied with the drab décor at their local death mill surprise the staff and tiptoe around (so as not to disrupt business) repainting stained walls, installing mood lighting, and piping in soothing New Age music.

Just think of the animal-lover HGTV show that could have been floated if the Center for Disease Control and Prevention report had also included warnings that bestiality – which is all the rage in atheistic Sweden and, shockingly, legal in the U.S. military – causes penile cancer.

Tolerant cable TV redecorating shows aside, after all the STD statistics were revealed, for some reason the CDC felt compelled to point out that contracting a sexually-transmitted disease could be avoided by abstaining from sex completely, or restricting carnal goings-on to a “long-term monogamous relationship” with a partner who is not disease-ridden, such as a committed spouse.

For many, the idea of abstinence is a total bummer! Advice like that sounds as if the CDC crew may be taking cues from likes of the born-again Benham twins. Rather than inspire HGTV fixer-upper shows with mass appeal, the CDC suggesting moral self-discipline is sure to relegate them to the ranks of those two Flip it Forward troglodytes, David and Jason Benham, who henceforth and in perpetuity can be found in the annals of STD-free antiquity.

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