Kids Eat Kale at State Dinner

Originally posted at American Thinker. blog

Although most Americans will never have an opportunity to attend a state dinner at the White House, it’s fun to witness history in the making by taking a first-hand look inside one as it happens.

When the Obamas hold a grownup state dinner, the menu isn’t all that healthy —think lobster, steak, and apple pie for Chinese President Hu Jintao. However, for the state dinner the first lady recently hosted for the winners of the “Let’s Move” Healthy Lunchtime Challenge, guests were offered quite different fare.

After being greeted with a kale appetizer, 54 guests/contest winners were served “Yummy Cabbage Sloppy Joes,” baked zucchini “fries,” and a salad of quinoa, black beans and corn.

Overflowing with 8- to 12 year olds, the East Room probably smelled more like the cafeteria at PS 131 than the White House.  And from the list of ingredients in some of the recipes, it sounded as if the level of hydrogen sulfide is what decided the winners. Moreover, what, pray tell, did the kiddies get in the goody bag —  Beano?

Nine-year-old Michael Lakind was among the guests.  The promising chef from Texas is the creator of “Bunny Bisque” and the “Secret Service Super Salad.” The latter entry did not have ‘secret’ ingredients but did include “chicken.” Sorry, but someone should have explained to Michael that chicken is not the best ingredient for a salad named for the Secret Service.

Nevertheless, when asked what his favorite food was, young Mr. Lakind’s rapid-fire, unfiltered response was “Steak.”  Since the hostess was Michelle Obama, Mike the carnivore should have specified: Wagyu steak.

Ever the gracious hostess, Mrs. Obama reminded the winning competitors that they were there because their recipes “truly stood out.”  The first lady said, “And that’s really saying something.”  Of course, per the liberal rulebook the winners were also reminded that the other 1,146 competitors who didn’t get the opportunity to enjoy zucchini fries were winners too.

Bubbling over with “Yummy Cabbage Sloppy Joe” enthusiasm, the first lady said winning was “cool,” and while the kids were hungrily digging into a scrumptious pile of kale chips she praised them, saying, “You came up with dishes that were packed with nutritious, delicious ingredients; dishes that are good for you, but more importantly, they taste good, too. See? It can happen – healthy and tasty at the same time.”

Not that he could even begin to compete with that pile of kale chips, but fresh off his fast-food campaign junket President Barack Obama did manage to steal the show for a second or two.

Towering over kiddies eating “healthy lunches off the red Reagan state china, sitting at round tables with large bouquets of bright red tomatoes and green apples,” Barack Obama told the rapt crowd that he had to “crash the party, because [he] did not want to miss out on all the fun.”  That fun, in addition to lunch and a concert, also included an electrifying tour of the White House vegetable garden.

Entertaining the guests with stories about — you guessed it — himself, the President said: “I’m not a great cook. I’m an OK cook. I can make a good omelet and toast. …  Let’s face it, I don’t cook that often these days, but I remember cooking, and it’s not always easy to make something that people like to eat.”

Good thing this time around Obama chose not to upset the young contest winners by suggesting “You didn’t make that,” nor did he ask them to be careful with the expensive china, but what he did do was instruct them “not to spill anything on the floor,” because let’s face it, crumbs do attract flies.

Obama politely said, “I only have one request for you, and that is try not to drop any scraps on the floor, because Bo is on a diet right now, and he will eat anything that he sees, especially some of the tasty meals that you guys have prepared.”

Instead of telling the children the dog is on a diet, for the health and well-being of the first family Obama should have told the kids to resist passing off their Cabbage Sloppy Joes to Bo under the table.  Moreover, based on what was on the menu, the President cautioning against spills may have been a polite way to ask the children to refrain from purposely dumping their plates and grinding the food into the rug.

Who knows — after hosting the first kids’ state dinner/lunch, the high level of endorsement kale, cabbage, and black beans received from the first lady could mean that at next adult state dinner, dignitaries could be dining on “healthy and tasty” Apple Oat Balls, “Triple F” Fake Fast Food, and Stuffed Zucchini Boats. Because hey, if it’s good enough for steak-loving Michael Lakind, it should also be good enough for King Carl XVI Gustaf of Sweden.