Make Way for the Milk Monitors

Originally Posted at American Thinker.

The hardest thing to figure out is the dichotomous mind of a liberal. Liberals are so confused that destroying a child’s innocence is considered a virtuous accomplishment, but allowing M&M’s in the cafeteria is an abomination. Liberals remove soda from vending machines to protect the well-being of children and then, in some school districts, insist on teaching kindergarteners sex educationcouched in confusing stories like “Gloria Goes to Gay Pride.”

Truth is, sanctimonious liberal educators believe they are fulfilling a higher calling if middle-school students are shielded from drinking Yoo-Hoo while being instructed how to properly place a condom on a cucumber.

Thanks to a curriculum being influenced by Obama’s Safe School Czar, Kevin Jennings, schoolchildren are geniuses when it comes to identifying the date for GLSEN’s scheduled April 2011 Day of Silence, but oftentimes those same students graduate lacking the ability to read at grade level, write a coherent sentence, or make change from a five-dollar bill.

Now, in an effort to feel better about substituting moral bankruptcy for academic excellence, educators and government bureaucrats have joined forces in a campaign to expose the evils of Nesquik.

That’s right — chocolate milk is on the way to being off-limits on school grounds because liberals who are unconcerned with morality are presently overly concerned with obesity. The same Food Police who, as a benevolent contribution to society, are in the process of emptying vending machines of pretzel sticks are now targeting cafeteria milk carts and discriminating against cocoa-infused foodstuffs.

Instead of being allowed to choose their own beverage, kids who supplied budget-challenged school districts with toilet paper are being given the non-choice of plain room-temperature milk as a reward. Theargument against chocolate milk is this: “One 8-oz. serving of reduced-fat chocolate milk has nearly as many calories and sugar as a 12-oz. can of Coke. Encouraging students to regularly consume the drink,” experts say, “is contributing to an already worrying childhood obesity crisis.”

In fact, states like Florida are leading the way by banning chocolate milk from school premises in an effort to ensure that nationwide, American youngsters in more liberal school districts are safe from the harmful effects of corn syrup while being instructed in private-body-part pronunciation.
Standing in solidarity with Michelle Obama’s “Let’s Move” healthy kids campaign, public school systems are making it a priority to eradicate freedom of choice when it comes to milk.  Is choice a right liberals guard only if a teenage girl needs assistance disposing of an unwanted fetus? One never knows — maybe in certain school districts, the concern is rooted in worry as to whether Planned Parenthood vans will have to make more than one trip to accommodate chubby underage passengers.

Never mind the fact that nutritional experts maintain that “flavored milk can make a difference in how much milk … children drink.” The issue isn’t cow juice. The problem is the hypocritical self-righteousness of school administrators who taint childhood purity while they worry at the same time about BMIs being impacted by unwholesome beverages.

Think about it. The Sugar Patrol is being run by the same bureaucrats who control and police America’s offspring. In the more liberal school districts across the nation, social activists disguised as educators exhibit zero compunction when circumventing parental dictates and eagerly install themselves as proxy parents in order to instruct youngsters on how to get an A+ in moral turpitude.
Take for example Provincetown, Massachusetts, where school superintendent Dr. Beth Singer insisted that five-year-olds should have access to condoms and be afforded a constitutional right to privacy as well. Yet in an effort to ensure a slim frame and relaxed pancreas, one would venture to guess that Dr. Singer would likely be reluctant to serve first-graders artificially flavored dairy products.

Forbidding chocolate milk is merely a symptom of a larger, more pervasive problem. The same meddling school administrators who reserve the right to hand out birth control to minors and shuttle underage youngsters to abortion clinics are now amongst those who conclude that chocolate milk is unhealthy for other people’s offspring.

Either public school control freaks are unaware or they don’t care that a study presented by the School Nutrition Association showed that “[e]liminating chocolate and other flavored milks from school cafeteria menus resulted in a dramatic drop in milk consumption along with a substantial reduction in nutrients — which are not easy or affordable to replace.”

Nutritional studies aside, a statistic that bodes well for the burgeoning “Bosco Ban” reveals that thanks to the careful tutelage of a publicly funded educational system, as of 2006, “46% of fifteen to nineteen year olds have had sex at least once.” Goaded on by success rates like that, and based on the prior achievement of other liberal social engineering/educational crusades, Milk Monitors remain undeterred in their virtuous crusade to exorcise chocolate milk from the midst of defenseless schoolchildren.

Rest assured: in due time, the anti-flavored-milk movement stands to be just as successful as the system-wide public school effort to encourage teenage promiscuity. The test as to whether the ban is flourishing or not will ultimately be determined if fifteen-year-olds recovering at the Ballard Teen Health Center discontinue requesting sugary cartons of chocolate milk to help regain strength following a school-sanctioned field trip to an abortion clinic.

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