Benched by a Fat Lip

Originally posted at American Thinker. blog

Ouch! The President has a fat lip.  The guy can’t catch a break these days. A few weeks ago, Obama received a political black eye; now, while enjoying his favorite athletic activity over the Thanksgiving weekend, the President is popped in the face by a friend.

“President Obama is known for his tough, trash-talking brand of basketball – and it got him a split lip and 12 stitches.” What could be worse for a renowned public speaker than being forced to approach the teleprompter with a stitched-up mouth.

Kicking back with family and friends, Obama’s lip was split after being elbowed during a pickup basketball game. “First word of the injury came in a statement from press secretary Robert Gibbs nearly three hours after the incident saying that Obama was inadvertently struck by someone’s elbow.”

The president was playing basketball at Fort McNair in a “five-on-five contest involving family and friends. Among the players were Obama’s nephew Avery Robinson, Education Secretary Arne Duncan, and Reggie Love, Obama’s personal assistant,” none of whom bears ownership of the guilty olecranon.

Coming up from behind, dedicated left-shooting hoopster Obama attempted to block a shot by the director of programs for the Congressional Hispanic Caucus Institute, Rey Decerega.  It seems Rey enthusiastically utilized an elbow-joint to reach the basket.  Being on the defensive put Obama in the vulnerable position to be clocked with such a forceful shot to the maw that the bloodied President required a dozen carefully placed, smaller filament stitches to ensure a “smaller scar.”

Split lips bleed profusely, bruise, swell, and require both sutures and ice compresses. Following the injury, and after being stitched up by the White House Medical Unit, the typically puffed-up Obama was seen “standing in an upstairs window,” peering over a jumbo ice pack pressed against a swollen mouth.

Obama’s malady comes at a bad time because Thanksgiving demands warm, familial expressions of affection toward guests. Not only that, but for trouble-free transport through a straw and to prevent further injury to delicate tissue, an overly swollen split lip may require the White House chefs to spend time pureeing the President’s leftover sweet potato pie and oyster stuffing.

And if that’s not bad enough, fat lips have also been known to cause a temporary lisp, which presents an awkward dilemma for a person attempting to clearly enunciate words off a teleprompter.  However, if painful enough, a split lip could unintentionally provide an incentive for the President to ditch the habit of utilizing his lips to inhale Marlboros.

Either way, Obama is scheduled to meet with the congressional leadership with 12 stitches on a lip that typically participates in the monopolization of the political discourse. Fat lip or no fat lip, in the run up to the meeting, Mitch McConnell said the White House has a choice to do what Obama failed to do on the basketball court: “They can change course, or they can double down on a vision of government that the American people have roundly rejected.”

Beaten in a game he usually wins, the President, who on more than one occasion spoke the words “I won” to Republicans, thanks to a wayward elbow to the mouth may be forced to do something out of the ordinary – sit on the bench and listen.

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