Thanks to John McCain’s exhaustive premortem arrangements, the recently deceased senator, former POW, Obamacare-supporter, and committed Trump-hater could orchestrate for himself quite a unique send-off. Immediately following the funeral of the Queen of Soul, the exaltation of the King of Bipartisanship began and was broadcast live from the hallowed halls of a National Cathedral whose female pastor and congregation pride themselves on supporting the redefinition of marriage.
Huddled inside the stone walls, the private gathering included politicians whose primary objective was to use a war hero’s passing as a vehicle to demonstrate bipartisan unity via exclusion.
As a result, John McCain’s funeral served to identify the official members of an elitist club and presented the leaders of the Trump Resistance the perfect opportunity to inform a hostile world that the lion’s share of America’s political power elite is united in disrespect for our sitting president.
In addition to guests like bloated Al Gore, a whole cast of highbrow dignitaries were on hand to share the view that bipartisan compromise far outweighs the sort of political discord that results in policy initiatives that ultimately benefit “we the people.” Furthermore, based on the sentiments openly expressed during the service, it was also apparent that it is no longer acceptable to support the unbendable convictions that our forefathers knew were necessary to protect America’s freedom.
Naturally, all of McCain’s children took up pew space. However, the Maverick’s offspring sired after he abandoned his disabled first wife, and three small children, occupied seats of honor in the front row across the aisle from a Bipartisan Trinity that included the Father, Bill Clinton; G.W., the Son; and a Marxist ghoul with the Christian name, Barry Soetoro.
Complementing the triune godhead were three spouses: Hillary, AKA Dr. Evil; Laura the Librarian; and an obviously peeved Michelle, whose vacation in Mallorca, Spain was inconveniently cut short by a crusty old senator with a brain tumor, who just refused to keep breathing until the former first lady could return to her $8.1-million Kalorama mansion.
Then again, being a fish out of the water at a predominantly white funeral may be why Michelle, who ordinarily participates in functions involving entertainers like Bruno Mars, sulked her way through a Christian hymn.
Notwithstanding Michelle’s pouting, the tone of the official tribute was largely a succession of mean-spirited jibes directed toward the nation’s current president.
After showing up adorned in a demure black velvet headband, McCain’s bodacious daughter Meghan led the attack. In between tearful accolades for a deceased father, a doggedly determined Meghan bobbed and weaved, landing punch after verbal punch on Trump’s jaw. Hatred so blinds Meghan that she ignored the president’s daughter, who graciously paid respects to a man who belittled her father from beyond the grave.
Proving to be much like dear old Dad, Meghan’s eulogy also contained a demeaning putdown directed toward those who support MAGA. Knowing full well that the funeral fraternity would recognize every snide remark she made, Meghan compared her father’s “greatness” to “cheap rhetoric from men who will never come near the sacrifice he gave so willingly.”
Evidently, within the walls of the “we hate Trump” clubhouse, references to “personal attack politics” and “tribal partisanship” double as a secret handshake, which may be why McCain’s friend, Joe Lieberman, used those exact words to poke fun at Trump.
Lieberman, an Elmer Fudd doppelgänger, also shared that in all the years he knew McCain, he never heard the senator ever “say a bigoted word about anyone.” Lieberman cited the 2008 campaign, claiming that McCain shut down a woman for suggesting that Barack was an Arab. Lieberman said, “It was pure reflex, it was who John was” – except, of course if it was Trump being disparaged. Then “it was pure reflex” for John to let the insults fly.
Hobbling up to the marble plinth, an aged Henry Kissinger was polite, while George W. Bush, the president conservatives spent eight years struggling to defend, didn’t hold back.
In addition to passing melted candy to Michelle Obama, George’s time was spent extending a Deep State greeting to those who supported his failed brother Jeb in 2016 primary and did it by suggesting that the unnamed politician currently living in the White House “abuses power, is a dictator and bigot” and a “swaggering despot.”
Despite being palsy-walsy with an ex-president and former first lady who both approve of aborting 3,000 unborn American babies a day, Bush went “nu-cu-lar” when he threw around the label “dictator” and implied that, unlike a certain someone who shall remain nameless, McCain “respected the dignity inherent in every life, a dignity that does not stop at borders and cannot be erased by dictators.”
Next, Barack Obama, whose definition of “bipartisanship” is, and always will be, a conservative surrender to the progressive agenda, sashayed his way up to the pulpit.
True to form, 44 referenced himself more than McCain and, without the help of a teleprompter, even managed to weave racial and gender politics into a funeral tribute. The only two subjects Obama forgot to broach were genderless bathrooms and Saul Alinsky’s “world as it should be.”
Obama, a man who specializes in “small, mean and petty” politics and who “traffics in bombast, insult, and phony controversy,” not to mention “manufactured outrage,” acted “brave and tough” while insinuating that Trump was all of those negative things. Meanwhile, Obama attempted to “put lipstick on a pig” by forgetting to mention that “small, mean, and petty” reach-across-the-aisle John McCain disinvited his 2008 presidential running mate, Sarah Palin, and barred the president of the United States from setting foot anywhere near his funeral.
Whatever happened to the time in America when “bipartisanship” meant lack of conviction, cowardice, and lukewarm wishy-washiness? Since when is acquiescing to less than what one wholeheartedly believes considered a commendable attribute, and when did spinelessness become something patriots aspire to?
If diluting everything is the way America is currently heading, and if enduring mistreatment by an enemy is all that constitutes valor, then what Donald Trump has willingly subjected himself to should then be likened to spending eight years in a political concentration camp, tortured and beaten to the point of breaking by none other than the Deep State.
Either way, for two full days, the nation endured funerals where “corpse men” and cadavers in haute couture doubled as an excuse for Trump-bashers to rally together and voice disgust for a president who, unlike the dearly departed, remains very much alive.